Friday, March 16, 2012

What if tomorrow never comes?

I wrote a really good blog yesterday morning in my mind! ;-) And now for the life of me I can't remember what I was talking to myself about...I do remember the title though - What if tomorrow never comes?

With the series of blogs that I need to write next in my "catch up" over the past year....tomorrow never came, in a two week period tomorrow ceased to happen.

In May of 2011, Greg and I on a Sunday afternoon were headed to Wal-Mart and it was a beautiful sunny day. We, well I, decided to stop at some model homes and well the bug bit! By the Wednesday that week we were signing on the dotted line and had decided to build a house. Our area was somewhat limited because we were trying to stay in a certain area of the city for mom to be able to get to dad easily at the home where he was. Little did we know that tomorrow would never come!

Excitement and stress was building with the process of building a house....and trying to sell our current house. We had a year before we had to close on the new house, which meant we had a year to sell our current home. We are not the type of people to be patient enough to wait a year for the house to sell and as time (even short time) went on we were getting more stressed.

That was the beginning of May....on May 25th (Wendesday) Dad had a major seizure and what we didn't know then, that was the beginning of the end. Saturday night we got a phone call from the home, dad had what appeared to be another seizure and he was taking too long to respond. They wanted to know if we wanted to send him to the hospital. I was on the phone and said yes.

He spent the next week in hospital. They tried to treat the pneumonia, but even if they were able, the reality was that this would likely become a pattern because of Alzheimer's, and the stage that he was now at.

I think I was in a bit of a daze, by the Wednesday/Thursday that week the doctors, nurses, etc. were talking to us about palliative care. I thought it was for "future" instances, not for tomorrow! (That tomorrow came, and with a vengeance) Friday they sent dad back to the home from the hospital, and he was placed on palliative care.

Two weeks to the day, from that major seizure, he passed away. Do I know where he is? Absolutely, he's in heaven with Jesus, no doubt about it. Do I wish he was still here? Selfishly, absolutely, but for his sake, no, he's in a much better place there. Do I wish tomorrow never came? Yes, I wished I had more time. I wish I was able to talk with him. I wish he was able to see the kids grow up. I wish he was able to play with them. I wish they would be able to know the wonderful grandfather that he would have been. I wish....just one more day.

What if...tomorrow never comes?

1 comment:

Nana (Fran) said...

All so very true ... it hurts to this very day! The short time that he had with the boys at the very beginning of the journey was a delight and 'special' to him and to CJ & Kai. We have those treasures forever in our hearts. And boys do too ... they talk very openly about Poppy all the time.